Simultaneous to working with the child we often have to work with the parent(s); are they really ready for the separation? This discussion is critical because if the parent(s) is not ready for the separation, it will be more challenging for the child. If possible, have the parent(s) observe in the community prior to the child beginning so the parent(s) has an idea of the routines, the activities so she(he) trusts the place their child is going to enter. Discuss the child’s previous reactions to being without the parent(s) and how long the separation was, e.g., 30 minutes, 3 hours?
If possible, have the entry into the community be phased, beginning with perhaps only one hour, then home and gradually extending the time the child is in the community – perhaps taking a week or two to make the complete transition. If the child has never been separated from “Mom” then the transition will be more challenging and, in this case, a longer transition time may be necessary. The child has to experience that “Mom” will return for them.
Your goal is to have the child leave the community each day having had a good time and wanting to return another day. Try to engage the child with taking care of plants or animals in the environment, e.g., giving the fish or gerbil a tiny bit of food or watering plants. Try to engage the child in a small group language lesson. Observe to determine anything the child appears to be interested in and respond with a lesson – if reasonable. If the child becomes engaged in any activity, try to get a short video clip; when a parent sees this they may finally accept that the child is fine in the school environment.
A 2-year-old is not an infant so do not carry as a way to comfort an upset child. Get down to child’s level, comfort but do not pick up as one would an infant. Trust that the child will gradually come to accept the new routines and be comfortable being away from “Mom” for a period of time. Also, observe if the parent is carrying the child into the school (connoting dependency and infancy) rather than walking with the child. If a “negative transition” lasts for a month or longer, it is time to meet with the parents and discuss ways forward.
