First of all, as Montessori teachers we do not want families telling us how to run our communities/classes, but we also should not think we can tell families how to manage their families. That being said, we do want there to be alignment of values between the Montessori philosophy and families. When this is not the case, the child is caught between two value systems and has to adjust daily to those differences. This means we have to clearly communicate with parents our values and how we live those values with children on a daily basis.

When there is enough alignment of values, families often ask what they can do at home to support what we do in class and there are a number of critical things that can be done at home to align with what we do in class.

Offering/supporting respectful independence as a child matures—allowing a child to do what she is capable of doing, even though it may take a bit more time compared to an adult doing things for a child.

Offering a child choices, whenever appropriate, and not manipulating the choice to get the child to do what we want them to do. So simple choices: do you want eggs or cereal for breakfast? Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?”

Along with offering a choice is allowing the child to experience the consequence of the choice made, not rescuing a child from their choice. Simply stating to the child the choice they made and stating that the next time they can choose something different is a way to not become emotionally involved when the child changes his mind.

Tidying up after playing/working with one’s toys. This is helped by arranging shelves in the child’s environment on which are placed, often in a container, various toys. Never do we suggest the use of a “toy box” into which all toys are dumped.

Not interfering when a child is deeply concentrating on something. Concentration is a huge goal of Montessori environments, so it is helpful if families also support this goal. Refrain from making comments about a child’s engagement, such as “looks as if you are really enjoying yourself”.